Dear Michael,

We have taken some pictures to show you that we are not mental (see below).... well not after drinking 3 bottles of shiraz....

Right. Proof that we're not nutters. 12 years of university between us. Cumulativlly 60 years of not stalking anyone at all! 320 BHP, 1 sans roof, built-ins, off-street parking, 110 bottles of red maturing, several unfortunate nicknames, 16 UDIs, no DUI, no DOA, and an excellent taste in pants.

How can you not want to come to our BBQ? 

Tim says:

"well michael, this is it eh!!!??, if you ever read this i will be suprised, however, given the WWW anything can happen. so whats really important: well on a scale of 1 to 10, I guess a bbq in me back garden rates pretty low, but would be good. if you have the want to enter local politics and remove the ruling party from power, that would be noice. one a different note, please don't ever buy a toyta primus - they really don't save the environment, just go for a masseratti or lambo or lotus or something thats not crap....


 

An open letter to Mr Michael Caine

An open letter to an admired personage:

Dear Mr Sir Lord Michael Caine HRH OBE (Millud),

We're thinking of having a party at young Tim's place in Sydney with the theme of "Michael Caine". We thought it would be rude not to invite you along, as it is being held in your honour.

For several months now, we have been honouring your acting landmarks in our daily lives through the judicious use of lines inspired by your performances, such as

• "don't you point that bloody stick at me",
• "you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"; and,
• "hold on lads, I've got an idea".
  

- and so on. You get the point.

We have discovered that, as mere Welshman and Australian, the sure-fire way of getting into your accent for quotation purposes is to say the words "'ello Archie". But that isn't really relevant. Sorry.

So what is relevant? Let's get to the facts. The hard pointy end of what we're offering you, Sir Lord Mr Michael Caine, Lord OBE.

We are offering an evening with select company consisting of;

• just five people and an infant (all CVs available on request, all of whom are sane and have no provable criminal records),
• an extensive wine cellar of good, reputable Australian wines,
• a genuine Australian Barbeque, consisting of a fine selection of fishes from the Sydney fish markets (you are welcome to come buy them with us, should you wish to do so),
• two of your films, to which you are welcome, but not obliged, to add a live actor's commentary to, consisting of anecdotes, ad-libs and wit; and,
• As much whisky as you can get down ya neck (all Scottish, single malt).

We appreciate that you are not a resident of the Southern Hemisphere, but the next time you happen to be in Sydney, or indeed Australia, feel free to give us a bell, and we'll whip up a night that you'll not forget.

Should you wish to come along to our night of frivolity, feel free to contact us at;

langeluddecke@hotmail.com

Admiring regards,
Mr Christopher J. Langeluddecke, Esq & Dr Tim D. Owen.